The Food and Drug Association (FDA) has announced this morning that it has approved pharmaceutical giant Johnson & Johnson’s request to produce and sell tranquilizer dart guns specially developed to put kids to sleep. The alleged new medical device would allow parents to put a child to sleep within 4 seconds, and is said to have no serious longterm consequences on the child’s health.
This new tool, designed to aid parents with educating their children, is said to have a practical reach estimated between 30 to 40 meters with drugging effects lasting between 6 to 8 hours per injection. However, the pharmaceutical giant advises parents not to use the tranquilizer gun more than 3 to 4 times a day per child to prevent any physical dependence to the medical device. “There has been a high demand for such a device for years now,” explains to us Ernie Knewitz, media relations vp over at Jonhson and Johnson. “We have tested over hundreds of recipes to finally find one that doesn’t cause too much damage to the brain despite regular use. We have finally found a mix of PCP and a heroin derivative that seems to do the job.”